Señor Trumpanzee by Nancy OhanianHarper Thorpe offers a more Trumpian transcript of Trump’s Monday morning remarks about the two mass shootings in El Paso and Dayton. Note: This is the real and original Trump transcript with the edits in italics.-by Harper ThorpeTRUMP: Good morning. My fellow Republicans, NRA members, and the undereducated. This morning, our nation is overcome with shock, horror, and sorrow. This weekend, more than 80 people were killed or wounded in two evil attacks, and sadly, my summer vacation at my New Jersey golf club was interrupted.On Saturday morning, in El Paso, Texas, a fellow white nationalist went to a Walmart store, where he expected to find invaders, Hispanic families, shopping with their loved ones. With an AK-47 type rifle, he shot and murdered 20 people, and injured 26 others, including precious little children-- like those we separate from their parents at the border.Then, in the early hours of Sunday morning in Dayton, Ohio, after I had crashed a wedding party the night before, but prior to my 145th scheduled morning round of golf since becoming president, another twisted monster (who Kellyanne claims is a radical liberal socialist) opened fire on a crowded downtown street. He murdered 9 people, including his own sister, and injured 27 others with a military-style, semi-automatic assault weapon.The First Lady and I join all Americans in praying and grieving for the victims, their families, and the survivors-- notice I didn’t say thoughts and prayers. We will stand by their side forever. We will never forget because the media will remind us of this event when they point out the GOP and me still have done nothing to address gun violence.We are a white-loving nation, and our children are entitled to grow up in a just, peaceful, and loving white society. Together, we lock arms to shoulder the grief, we ask God in Heaven (the one mentioned in that Bible book I haven’t read-- maybe Corinthians too) to ease the anguish of those who suffer, and we vow to act in nonspecific ways with urgent resolve.I want to thank the many law enforcement personnel who responded to these atrocities with the extraordinary grace and courage of American heroes. Had I not been golfing, I would have been with you just like I joined the first responders on 9/11.I have spoken with Texas Governor Greg Abbott (who, when he was Texas AG, I bribed to not sue me and Trump University) and Ohio Governor Mike DeWine (a Republican who was enjoying himself at the Ohio state fair within hours of the Dayton massacre), as well as Mayor Dee Margo of El Paso, Texas (a fine Republican), and Mayor Nan Whaley of Dayton, Ohio (a loser Democrat), to express our profound sadness and unfailing support.Today, because he’s threatening to sue the U.S. for the killing of 8 Mexican nationals, we also send the obligatory condolences of our nation to President Obrador of Mexico, and all the rapists and murderers of Mexico, for the loss of their citizens in the El Paso shooting. Terrible, terrible thing but I’m pretty sure they were on ICE’s list to be deported anyway.I have also been in close contact with Attorney General Roy Cohn (I mean Bill Barr) and FBI Director Wray. Federal authorities are on the ground, and I have directed them to provide any and all assistance required-- whatever is needed to make sure there are no ties back to me and my peeps.The shooter in El Paso posted a manifesto online consumed by racist hate that parrots the rhetoric I’ve been using in my tweets, Facebook ads, and campaign rallies. In one voice, (let’s see-- it says here on the teleprompter) our nation must condemn racism, bigotry, and white supremacy. These sinister ideologies I’ve been promoting must be defeated (cough). Hate has no place in America. Hatred warps the mind, ravages the heart, and devours the soul-- which has clearly been working for me. Even though I disbanded the DHS Domestic Terrorism Unit in April, we have asked the FBI to identify all further resources they need to investigate and disrupt hate crimes and domestic terrorism-- whatever they need. Please don’t expect to hear anything more about this in the future.We must recognize that the Internet has provided me with a dangerous avenue to radicalize disturbed minds and perform demented acts. We must shine light on and take further advantage of the dark recesses of the Internet, and stop mass murders before they start. As Jeffrey Epstein and I know, the Internet, likewise, is used for human trafficking, illegal drug distribution, and so many other heinous crimes. The perils of the Internet and social media cannot be ignored, and they will not be ignored by my propagandists and foreign supporters.In the two decades since Columbine, our nation has watched with rising horror and dread as one mass shooting has followed another-- over and over again, decade after decade-- and Republicans will continue to do nothing.As white nationalists, we cannot allow ourselves to feel powerless. We can and will stop this evil contagion of people of color. In that task, we must honor the sacred memory of those we have lost by acting as one people. Open wounds cannot heal if we white nationalists are divided. We must seek real, bipartisan solutions-- not including gun control and immigration reform. We have to do that in a bipartisan manner, which is to say #MassacreMitch has got to agree. That will truly make America safer, whiter and better for all.First, we must do a better job of identifying potential soldiers in our white nationalist cause and acting on early warning signs. I am directing the Department of Justice (that is, my AG who totally exonerated me after the Mueller Report was submitted) to work in partisan-- partnership with local, state, and federal agencies, as well as social media companies, to develop tools that can detect mass shooters before they strike with a focus on the Left.As an example, the monster in the Parkland high school in Florida had many red flags against him, and yet nobody took decisive action. Nobody did anything. Why not? Nor did the Republican congress do anything about gun control after the massacre. Why not? Well, the NRA of course!Second, we must stop the glorification of violence in our society. Even though all the available research says there’s no correlation between video games and violence, this includes the gruesome and grisly video games that are now commonplace. It is too easy today for troubled youth to surround themselves with a culture that celebrates violence-- like a Trump campaign rally. We must stop or substantially reduce this, and it has to begin immediately. Cultural change is hard for an old conman like me, but each of us can choose to build a culture that celebrates the inherent worth and dignity of every human life-- not including people of color, especially from shithole countries. That’s what we have to do.Third, and notwithstanding the 2017 bill I signed into law rolling back an Obama-era regulation that made it harder for people with mental illness to purchase guns, we must reform our mental health laws to better identify mentally disturbed individuals (not including members of the Executive Branch or GOP members of Congress) who may commit acts of violence and make sure those people not only get treatment, but, when necessary, involuntary confinement. Mental illness and hatred promoted by me, Fox News, right-wing talk radio, and white supremacists pulls the trigger, not the semi-automatic pistol with high-capacity magazine that killed 9 people in only 32 seconds.Fourth, we must make sure that those judged to pose a grave risk to public safety because they are not politically and idealogically aligned with me do not have access to firearms, and that, if they do, those firearms can be taken through rapid due process. That is why I have called for only red flag laws, also known as extreme risk protection orders, and I will not be asking for anything else that might offend the NRA or my base.I know mass murderers are prepared to die and most do during their violent act, but today, I am also directing the Department of Justice to propose legislation ensuring that those who commit hate crimes and mass murders face the death penalty, and that this capital punishment be delivered quickly, decisively, and without years of needless delay. Anyway, I thought this would sound good.These are just a few of the areas of cooperation that we can pursue. I am open and ready to listen and discuss all ideas that will actually work, will be acceptable to the NRA and my base, and make little or no difference.Republicans and Democrats have proven that we can join together in a bipartisan fashion to address this plague (Haha-- I crack myself up). Last year, we enacted the STOP School Violence and Fix NICS Acts into law, providing grants to improve school safety and strengthening critical NRA-approved and thus limited background checks for firearm purchases. At my direction while under duress, the Department of Justice banned bump stocks. Last year, we prosecuted a record number of firearms offenses, and no, I don’t have any evidence of this. But there is so much more that we have to do.Now is the time to set destructive partisanship aside-- so destructive that I intend to keep-up my divisive rhetoric-- and find the courage to answer hatred with unity, devotion, and love (Thank you for these great sounding words, Stephen Miller). Our future is in our control. White nationalists will rise to the challenge. We will always have and we always will win. The choice is ours and ours alone. It is not up to mentally ill monsters I’m conveniently scapegoating; it is up to us.If we are able to pass great NRA-approved legislation that’s acceptable to my base after all of these years, we will ensure that those who were attacked will not have died in vain.May God bless the memory of those who perished in Toledo. May God protect them in the infested town of El Paso. May God protect all of those from Texas to Ohio and other swing states. May Mike Pence’s God bless the victims and their families, which would not include non-Christians and LGBTQ. May God bless white America.Thank you very much. Thank you.
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