Chris Christie

-by NoahYou know how Trump voters all think that reality is all fake news just because it gets in the way of their paranoid and hate-filled fantasies? Their fake news thing is so bad that they think Hillary Clinton runs a pedophile ring out of the basement of a pizza shop in suburban Washington. They think Obama was born in a place they can't even find on a map.

-by NoahI would never make the mistake the Simpsons made and let a Republican into my house. If they weren't a threat to bust up all my furniture due to a lifetime of gluttony, I'd still worry about them leaving their slime all over, not to mention the smell that you'd never be able to get out of the seat cushions.

-by NoahFace it. Who wouldn't want the opportunity to shoot Chris Christie out of a cannon? I'd organize this and sell raffle tickets. The Pay-Per-View alone would be worth millions. I'd love to do this with lots of politicians. Shoot them into space. Shoot them into a lake of toxic sludge. Shoot them into a pool of sharks. Whatever. This could become the new national pastime!

-by NoahI said to that man next to you that life is like this box of chocolates and his eyes got big as saucers and he grabbed them and ate them in the blink of an eye. I should tell you that the Viet Cong was more polite. I don't think my Jenny would like him. And that's all I have to say about that.

-by NoahWhen Hurricane Maria bore down on Puerto Rico last summer, there was much discussion as to whether Maria was a category 4 or a category 5 as it came ashore. Then this photo showed up and the argument was settled. Maria had to have been a category 6.

-by NoahOne foggy morning this summer, I awoke, went to the window and exclaimed, "Damn! What's the hell is that smell?" Fortunately, the whales were still alive and, thanks to some heavy equipment from the county we were able to drag them back into the water in time. However, the smell persisted. It wasn't until the guy folded up his chair and walked away that the mystery was solved.

-by NoahThe Thanksgiving Day Parade is a big thing in New York every year. Each year tens of thousands of people line Broadway to watch the parade. It's even broadcast live on local TV. One of the biggest points of interest in the parade is the speculation on what the new giant balloons will be. This year did not disappoint.

-by NoahContinuing our examination of this past summer's Chris Christie meme phenomenon...Your turn, Chris. You're next. Then be gone. You won't fool anyone again, at least I hope not.

-by NoahFor the next 11 days (plus yesterday), I have chosen to celebrate the 12 Days Of Christmas with a special edition of The Midnight Meme Of The Day.

-by NoahLooks like Santa didn't bring Chris Christie everything he wanted so he's waiting for the delivery trucks at Krispy Kreme. Too bad the other customers won't get any, but, hey, he's a Republican. They're very grabby and very piggy.