“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.”
My best guess is that the Christian Crusades of nine centuries ago, the genocide carried out against the rightful residents of the Western Hemisphere which began five centuries ago, and the ongoing history of imperialist wars for profit have all been justified, in large part, by these few words from the Holy Bible. I know that dominion over other human beings isn’t specifically stated, but think about it. Traditionally, where have whitish Christians pigeonholed darker, non-Christians in the grand scheme of things? That’s right. At best they’re sub-human, and truly no more than creeping things that creepeth upon the earth. Everybody knows that God is white, and only made whitish men in his image. Of course, women of all colors were just an afterthought, and deserving of dominion as well. You’ve got to hand it to white guys. They’ve had their thumbs on the scale from the get-go.
By some estimations Christianity in general, and the Roman Catholic Church in particular, have been the most destructive, murderous force in the history of mankind. Starting with the massacre and enslavement of the general population, and trafficking in children for use as sex toys carried out by Christopher Columbus, the Great American Holocaust in both hemispheres was performed with the blessings, financing, and encouragement of the Holy Fathers in Rome. By papal bull it was decreed that Native Americans were pagans, heathens, and savages. They were declared to be enemies of Christ with no rights to property or possessions, and should be condemned to slavery or to death. Apparently and sadly, Father Junipero Serra, recently canonized by Pope Francis, was among the most enthusiastic of the Vatican’s legions of conquerors, slave-drivers, and abusers.
Fast forward 200 years from Father Serra to the early 1960s, and you’d find the good Catholic lobby hard at work on K Street in Washington D.C., making sure the United States gave a support to a handful of French Catholics in Vietnam. End result: The Vietnam War, 58,307 dead American soldiers, and oh…4 or 5 million slaughtered Vietnamese, Laotians, and Cambodians. But who was counting those pagans, heathens, and savages? Certainly not the Holy Father in Rome.
Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.
— Mark, 12:17
The Roman Catholic Church has a tradition of honoring those alleged words of Jesus Christ through a policy of support for imperial wars by way of deliberate silence and absence of condemnation before the flock. Unless the Church has a direct stake in an international conflict, the business of the state is that of the state, the business of God belongs to the Church. Of course, behind the closed doors in the congress of baboons, the business of Caesar is generally the business of God as well.
Fast forward to March 13th, 2013. The skies opened up, the angels belted out a Bob Marley tune, a bevy of white doves soared on high, and a cleansing rain of justice began washing away some of the sins of history. Jorge Mario Bergoglio was ordained the 266th Pope of The Catholic Church. A big fan of Saint Francis of Assisi, he chose the name Pope Francis, as is the custom in these papal matters. As the first Pope from both the southern and western hemispheres, Francis replaced Joseph Ratzinger (Benedict XVI), a German with a questionable past, ties to Nazi Germany, and to Hitler’s Youth Group. At this point the holy ghost of John Lennon broke into a chorus of “Imagine”, and a heavenly orchestra played Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy”.
From the beginning, it was obvious that Pope Francis was no run of the mill, garden variety Pope. It soon became apparent that he had been issued the magic red shoes and allowed into the Vatican by mistake. He ditched the shoes and started acting like he might take the whole philosophy behind Christianity seriously. Aside from his gentle, grandfatherly demeanor and sweet, ever-smiling face, he began spouting ideas which had heretofore been considered unspeakable in polite Catholic circles.
Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.
Romans, 13:10
Fast forward to this last week, and the arrival of Pope Francis in the U.S.A. Conservative Catholicism made a lot of noise and headlines when U.S. Congressman Paul Gosar of Arizona announced that he would boycott the Pope’s speech before a joint session of Congress. That’s right…a Catholic boycotting the messenger of God himself. The reason? Gosar knew that Pope Francis would be addressing the urgency of man-made climate change, and as Gosar said…”when the Pope chooses to act and talk like a leftist politician, then he can expect to be treated like one.” Poor Mr. Gosar and his blasphemous conservative Catholic brethren in the congress of baboons…still denying the warnings of 97% of scientists who’ve been studying climate change for decades. A mind is a terrible thing to waste. Perhaps he snorted too much nitrous oxide during his career as a dentist.
Pope Francis speaks softly and deliberately, with very little inflection or gesture. But no matter which language he uses to deliver his speeches, the message is clear. Here’s a collage of samples taken from his recent presentation to Congress:
Each son or daughter of a given country has a mission, a personal and social responsibility…Building a future of freedom requires love of the common good and cooperation in a spirit of subsidiarity and solidarity…Our world is increasingly a place of violent conflict, hatred and brutal atrocities committed even in the name of God and of religion…no religion is immune from forms of individual delusion or ideological extremism…we must be especially attentive to every type of fundamentalism…Our world is now facing a refugee crisis of a magnitude not seen since The Second World War…Let us treat others with the same passion and compassion with which we want to be treated…This conviction (to the Golden Rule) has led me, from the beginning of my ministry, to advocate at different levels for the global abolition of the death penalty…I call for a courageous and responsible effort to redirect our steps and to avert the most serious effects of the environmental deterioration caused by human activity…Now is the time for courageous actions and strategies, aimed at implementing a culture of care and an integrated approach to combating poverty, restoring dignity to the excluded and at the same time protecting nature…it is our duty to confront the problem (of war) and to stop the arms drive…
Holy Crap! Social responsibility? Common good and cooperation? Subsidiarity and solidarity? Warnings against every type of fundamentalism and religiously motivated atrocities? Treating refugees (illegals) with compassion? Abolishing the death penalty? Combating poverty? Protecting nature? Stopping arms sales and war? Who does this Pope Francis guy think he is? Next thing you know he’ll be calling for nuclear disarmament…oh wait, he did that too.
Sounds to me like Pope Francis is a raging, tree-hugging, bleeding heart, pacifist, union-loving, anti-death penalty socialist. Maybe even a Communist. No wonder Congressman Gosar, his fellow lawmakers in the congress of baboons, FAUX News commentators, and conservatives throughout the land are having shit fits, conniptions, and cold sweats. What an embarrassment to the Church! Pope Francis just flung a pile of dung into the face of everything American conservatives hold dear to their hearts. It’s a good thing he paid lip service to family values and the evils of abortion, and canonized a Native American killer or he’d likely be crucified on the lawn in front of the Halls of Congress by now.
It looks like we can write off Pope Francis as a lost cause. Just another Christ-emulating do-gooder. So here’s a nine point plan for the man who will eventually replace him and inherit the pointy hat:
- Bring back the red shoes.
- Condemn poor people as lazy, shiftless, worthless, and abominations before the Lord.
Praise wealthy capitalists, for it is they who keep you in pretty white frocks and build your temples. - Tell people to stay within the borders of their own damned countries.
- Deny man-made climate change, or alternately praise it for opening up Arctic Ocean trade channels.
- Men condemned to death deserve it, so just say a few Hail Marys and pray for their souls when they get their lethal injections.
- Wars are good for business and good business fills your coffers, so praise our wars and warriors at every opportunity.
- No more dining with, and hanging out, with the dregs of society.
- Adopt a Doctor Strangelove philosophy: Stop worrying and embrace The Bomb. Armageddon will be blissful.
But in the meantime I’ve got a three point plan for Congressman Gosar and his conservative Catholic brothers in arms:
- You’re Catholics and the voice of Pope Francis is the very voice of God himself, so act like Catholics and obey your God.
- This bullshit about man having dominion over the universe is over with. Dominion is rescinded effective immediately.
- Your agenda for the foreseeable future is this:
- End war and eliminate nuclear weapons.
- End poverty, hunger, homelessness, and illiteracy in every corner of the earth.
- Tax the obscene profits of the wealthy at a 90%+ rate.
- End the death penalty and eliminate laws designed to incarcerate people for corporate profit.
- This will include trashing the private prison system.
- Free healthcare and a guaranteed income for all
- Open borders in all countries. All men are of the earth, and national boundaries are simply prisons designed to control the masses.
- End the system of bribery (campaign donations) in politics.
- The Church is more than just a social club. Read your freaking Bibles, you miscreants!
- Come out of the darkness.
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.
— Genesis 1:3