A Prayer in the Time of Pandemic
Affirming spirituality as the power over life and death I aspire to achieve
this spirituality that is nothing other than the blending of love and mystery
cherishing wonder at a precarious precipice, respecting knowledge
prayer seemed a weakening of spirit, a reaching out to the void, pretending
that there was someone there ready to respond, a metaphysical crutch in times of need
evading the loneliness of being when that other in our dreams is silent when and if we awake
we need not, must not, give up hope against hope, as nadezdha mandelstam never did
we need not, must not, cling to promises that can’t be kept, pretending as paul did when
praising abraham as he “believed against hope in hope” taking the greatest risk
put more simply, still falsely, in hebrews 11:1-“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things
not seen,” the assurance invented to banish uncertainty burglarizes
truth, demeaning faith as mere submission to authority, as refusal to live life fully, as refusal of the enchantments of
uncertainty, instead of continuing up mountains to heights where justice dwells, climbing as the air thins, sustained by
love by starlight truly certain and real
yet we can lean to see and understand anew, pushed by the crisis of the earth to open eyes more widely, prayer will be
loosened from moorings of church and state, only then becoming truly sacred: so realized, prayer becomes fervent
hope, not needing to be uttered as if a cry of desperation no longer needing assurances or false promises, prayer
becomes love and attentiveness a stone thrown from land far out falling beyond sight in an ocean of uncertainty
yet not lacking courage to stare at bodies piling up in churches, morgues overflowing, funerals on hold, statistics
replacing stories so that suffering stays abstract, leaders standing stiffly almost at a loss for words for the first time
ever, yet uttering prime time moonshine language as addressing sheep, confusing optimism with hope, curbing
science and scientists, treating misinformation, market-driven and gut-generated as knowledge, even wisdom
yet we go on listening restlessly waiting for a few words exhibiting love uncertainty, losing patience with what we hear
nightly we turn inward for knowledge for wisdom for love and outward for love for friendship invisible communities all
over the planet bonded by these fervent hopes are gathering the strength to be ready for whatever comes tomorrow
and stand by this prayer
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