Today, we present a refresher onthe basic steps for cooking a “Don”It’s really a turkey we’ve POTUS branded The Trump Turd-bird, ’cause it’s underhanded
First thing, take the packet out, minuscule fowl ballsSearch Don’s anal regions, between his southern wallsBesides the little gonads, you’ll find some nasty gibletsPut them in a frying pan, and cover in water dribletsSave them for the gravy, or add them to the stuffingIf you hear the Turd-bird tweet, the brain-dead Don is bluffingRinse the bird inside and out, then slap it and pat dryToilet paper’s best, please don’t get Turd-bird in your eyeIf you stuff the Turd-bird, you should only stuff it looselyNot like the golf khakis that the POTUS stuffs profuselyBind drumsticks together, best for handcuffs to be used Baste thin skin with snake oil and the drumsticks won’t be bruisedPlace the Turd-bird on a rack, in a clean bedpanPreheat oven three-five-oh, that’s the dead game planMonitor the temp with an anal thermo meter Stick it where Don’s thickest, since (thank God) you’ll see no peterLike a lobster in hot water, Don will act harassedAlso watch the veggies, the Turd-bird’s supporting castInstructions I’m providing have majority approvalTurd-bird should be done by now and ready for removalLastly, I am often asked should Turd-bird bake face-down? Maybe Don should be face-up to get an orange-ish brown?Side dish, desserts, other questions, even pairing wine?Questions: call the Stormy Daniels’ Turkey-Spank hotline!Happy Thanksgiving!!©2019 HHThorpe. All rights reserved.