2016 In Review: America Off The Rails, Part 5"Donald Trump and I agree that it's time to make America cook again." How did Comrade Trump miss him?by NoahJesus was a carpenter, and since Trump and his hypnotized followers think he’s the new Messiah, the new Jesus, it follows that Comrade Trump could build us some very nice cabinets, no? Well, not if you had any regard for whatever you put in them. Your dishes in the kitchen? Crash!Same with the United States of America: It’s not just the Trump cabinet nominations, it’s all of his appointments to "his" administration. I say "his" because, really, this couldn’t be a worse bunch of hands to put America’s future in if Vladimir Putin himself had chosen them. In the case of the secretary of state nominee, he apparently did just that.What follows is a bit of a long read -- long enough that we decided to split it into two parts! -- but I thought it would be nice to put down a nice list of some of the key people that Comrade Trump is publicly surrounding himself with,as opposed to those he keeps lurking in the dark shadows -- Dick Cheney and mobster Joey No Socks, for just two.Not everyone is here. Some posts are still to be filled as of the time of writing. But the 18 specimens I've chosen will give you the idea. And so, ladies and gentlemen, meet the New Russian Oligarchs!REPUBLICANS LIKE TO WHINE ABOUT "ELITES" --but then, republicans are good at projecting their own characteristics and behavior onto others. As I write this, Comrade Trump hasn’t yet nominated a fellow traveler to head up (in this case, destroy) the Departments of Agriculture and Veterans Affairs. But even without those two positions, Trump has already come up with the wealthiest cabinet in our history. The total wealth of the Trump cabinet is currently estimated to be $14 billion.Keep in mind that Comrade Trump campaigned as a populist. That $14 billion doesn’t include whatever amount he himself may be worth -- we don’t know that figure, because he’s hiding something in his tax returns. Now it's true that cabinet members usually are wealthy. However, in CBS News's estimate, the sum total of wealth represented by the proposed Trump cabinet is already 50 times higher than President George W. Bush’s cabinet (themselves not exactly a gaggle of paupers).So let’s start taking our look at some of Comrade Trump’s people -- this "populist" group who will be so naturally understanding of and caring about what life is like for the average Trump voter, not to mention the sane among us.1. Deputy Commerce Secretary Todd Ricketts(estimated worth: $5.3 billion)Todd Ricketts and his wife, Sylvie Légère, in Higher Gear, their bicycle shop in Wilmette, ILThe money comes largely from Ameritrade, the discount brokerage company started by Ricketts's father. Todd is co-owner of the Chicago Cubs, so it’s been a very good year. On the "populist plus" side, he also owns a bicycle store, though how much involvement he has in it on a day-to-day basis is anyone’s guess. He claims he owns the store because his parents weren’t wealthy enough to buy him a bicycle when he was a child. I wonder if, in some Ricketts garage, there is a bicycle named Rosebud.Back in 2016 the Ricketts family was contributing money to seemingly any republican not named Trump -- they were disturbed by his "liberal statements and inconsistencies." I guess Ricketts, an early supporter of Scott Walker, changed his tune after being threatened by Trump, who said:
I hear the Ricketts family, who own the Chicago Cubs, are secretly spending $’s against me. They better be careful, they have a lot to hide!
2. Small Business Administrator Linda McMahon(estimated worth: $1.6 billion)"Wrestling magnates" Vince and Linda McMahon with supporters during Linda's second (2012) failed U.S. Senate bidObviously also an oligarch, McMahon was a two-time failed Senate candidate in Connecticut (in 2010 and 2012). She and husband Vince spent $100 million in the two attempts. Not to worry, there’s plenty more where that came from. The money comes from their World Wrestling Entertainment business. That's hardly a small business, but hey, you just can't put a price on the knowledge a billionaire has when it comes to small business. 3. Education Secretary Betsy DeVos(estimated family worth: $5.1 billion)Betsy DeVos with husband Dick -- who wouldn't beam at the opportunity to starve the whole nation's public schools?The family fortune comes from starting Amway, so at least someone in the family has a background in starting a business, albeit a business largely derided as a pyramid scam. The history of complaints about Amway and how people get suckered into it are legendary. Is it any wonder that Trump was drawn to this woman? No doubt he wants to learn how he could have made more money with his Trump University scam.Speaking of educational institutions, DeVos is known for steering money away from public schools in favor of private and parochial schools, plus she is a champion of taxpayer-funded but privately run charter schools. Get ready for the starvation of public schools. The results of her policies in her home state of Michigan have included the lowering of math and reading scores. Republican morons such as John Ellis "Jeb!" Bush call her an "outstanding pick." 4. Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross(estimated worth: $2.5 billion)No, that's not Wilbur Ross. It's a survivor mourning one of the commerce secretary-designate's Sago Mine victims.Remember the Sago Mine disaster? This is the guy! Safety regulations? We don't need your stinking safety regulations! Ross is an avid collector of safety citations. In the Sago disaster, which resulted in the deaths of 12 coal miners, Ross's team even put out an announcement that the miners had survived. Three hours later they were forced to come clean.Ross is a person that symbolizes as well as anyone the attitude of Trump and his party towards workers. No wonder Comrade Trump loves him. He is a living Dickensian fossil of a boss that might as well have come from the 19th century.5. Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin(estimated worth: $40 million)By Trumpian standards Mnuchin is a poor, suffering loser. Sad. What is Mnuchin's claim to fame? Well, he is a successful Hollywood movie producer, but his appeal to Trump and Republicans is that he is the "Foreclosure King." Plenty of Goldman Sachs on his resume, too! Drain that swamp!Mnuchin is another 19th-century Dickensian relic. He made millions with his OneWest Bank. Finding ways to put the elderly out of their homes? Not a problem --born to be Scrooge. Bah humbug! This assclown can actually sleep and wake up in the morning with a smile -- a smile on the face of evil.6. Housing and Urban Development Secretary Dr. Ben Carson(estimated worth: $26 million)Another poor guy. Dr. Xanax may have been a fine doctor but the evidence shows that it stops there. He himself has said he is unqualified for a cabinet position. He said this while he was running for President. 'Nuff said.You've seen him in action. We all have. Said Comrade Trump when he made the announcement:
Ben shares my optimism about the future of our country and is part of ensuring that this is a presidency representing all Americans.
In other words, "Here's my black guy." Well, he's said it at his rallies, why not again?7. Transportation Secretary Elaine Chao(estimated worth: $22.8 million)President Trump will be counting on Elaine and Mitch to keep doing all they can to serve him the country.Chao actually has experience in government, having served as secretary of labor in the administration of so-called President George W. Bush. She is also the wife of $enate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell. Interestingly, the announcement of her selection came very shortly after McConnell stated that he saw no reason to investigate Trump crony Vladimir Putin's interference in the 2016 election.Columbian authorities are investigating McConnell's ties to the Chao family's shadowy shipping company. It seems they found a drug shipment on one of the company's ships. 8. Health and Human Services Secretary Tom Price(estimated worth: $13.6 million)Price is a six-term Georgia congressman, former orthopedic surgeon, and -- most importantly to Trump and other republicans -- a major critic of dastardly Obamacare. 9. Chief Strategist Steve Bannon(estimated worth: $20 million)I don't really have to write much about this twisted sicko. He and his white-supremacy delusions have been well-covered; likewise his anti-semitism. Oh, and there's his history with Goldman Sachs.I guess he got the job because someone convinced Comrade Trump that just overtly and officially turning over strategy to Vladimir Putin might make too many waves. His second choice was probably either Richard Spencer or the first Grand Wizard that would take the job.THAT'S NINE DOWN, NINE TO GOTune in again tomorrow -- same time, same place.
2016 IN REVIEW: AMERICA OFF THE RAILSNoah's annual Year in Review thus far:Part 1, "Profiles in Cowardice: The Electoral College" (12/23/2016)Part 2, "Republican Of The Year Nominee #1: Newt Gingrich" (12/27/2016)Part 3, "The Trumpf Inauguration Committee Finds The Perfect Inauguration Entertainment At Last!" (12/29/2016)Part 4, "Republican Of The Year Nominee #2: R-R-Reince Priebus" (1/2/2017)Part 5, "Comrade Trump: The World’s Worst Cabinet Maker, Believe Me -- Meet The New Russian Oligarchs! (1)" (1/4/2017)Part 6, "Comrade Trump: The World’s Worst Cabinet Maker, Believe Me -- Meet The New Russian Oligarchs! (2)" (1/5/2017)Part 7, "Republican Of The Year Nominee #3: Governors' Edition" (coming soon)
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