by NoahDateline, Washington, DC: President Donald "Crazy Pants" Trump proudly released the above photo today, claiming it showed the biggest Trump rally ever.
It's incredible! Can you believe it? I hadn't seen this picture until Spicy-Spice Spicer tweeted it to me over the weekend. He says this Tehran crowd was even bigger than the one I had for my glorious inauguration! Look at all those little red specks in the crowd! Those MAGA hats really stand out! I bet you can see my MAGA hats from space, or at least Russia! This has to be the biggliest crowd ever assembled! The world loves me, more than any other president ever! More than all combined! I've already sent signed copies to Kim and Putin. Obama never had a crowd like this, and I'm told I wasn't even there! In Tehran, the people just hear my name and they turnout screaming my name! All America should be like that! The Iranians must love me for my unmatched wisdom! Maybe, I'll go there someday myself. I bet they'd love it. I'll have Rudy look into it. They'd greet me with flowers! Tremendous bouquets!
In announcing the photo's release, current White House Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham said the president is having the photo expanded to 8' X 16' and hung on a wall in the oval office. Additional MAGA-SIZED™ copies will be sent to each republican senator. Grisham added, "A smaller print will be kept in what the president proudly calls his Big Boy Bigly Scrapbook Of Chaos. He really cherishes these proofs of his greatness. Best president ever!"Additional reports are that the shower curtain in the president's private bathroom/tweeting salon now matches the photo.
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