Sylvia shawcross So I was on the phone to a government department and was speaking to the computer. Or rather the computer was speaking to me. Going on and on about something I didn’t give a rattlesnake’s arse about. Now, I’ve learned that you can just say “stop!” and that infernal non-human thing will actually …
Sylvia Shawcross Welcome to your Off-Guardian Friday/Saturday opinion piece. Also known as the placeholder for the discussion that might ensue which hopefully will have nothing whatsoever to do with what I might write here as I’m very likely to make some sort of error like putting “the” in front of Ukraine or thinking the Easter …
Sylvia Shawcross I understand Easter Island now. Those heads and bodies huge on the horizon of the islands staring magnificently out to the world as if to say “I am here.” Waiting for the ships. Waiting for friend or foe to arrive with all their foreign ways and presumptive gods and pretzels. So they can …
And now, from an undisclosed location deep beneath the Earth’s surface, it’s the 6th Annual Fake News Awards! Shining the spotlight of ridicule on the dumbest disinformation, the silliest smears and the most ludicrous lies of the mainstream media dinosaurs of the past year! Which presstitutes will walk away with a dino of shame? What …
Sylvia Shawcross And so most of us are surviving the festive season which for some is more like the festering season. I am writing this as an apology from a Canadian to this world for our shenanigans over the holiday season. The thing about Canadians is we tend to be painfully appallingly apologetic. We are …
Sylvia Shawcross Oh for heavens sakes! It took awhile but I finally figured it out. They have discombobulated their desires into a substitute agenda because they can’t face what they really really want. They are saying they want us to eat bugs but the truth is, they want us to “be” the bugs. They’re building …
Sylvia Shawcross In the ridiculous world of the New Abnormal where we apparently find ourselves it is critically important to add your opinion to the cacophony of why we are who we are, where we are on the path to seeming totalitarianism and… why people are still wearing masks. Here in Canada apparently 7 out …
The spooky season is upon us, and what does that mean? The same as most other mondays, of course: memes. I’ll be honest, the title pun is the major reason these memes are here, but it’s the time of year for fun and frolics and bad dad jokes. 1. We could have filled the whole …
Sylvia Shawcross There are four types of people in the world. Well, in this world anyway. Now, the first type of person looks at the world and asks “Why?” They gnash their teeth and glare glumly at the sidewalk as they mournfully make their way to work, convinced of their own impotence to change the …
And the memes just keep on coming. It is August after all – the silly season – and we can all use any holiday we can get. Even just a holiday from taking things seriously. 1. This basically works for “how does anything become anything”. I’m also sure there’s a pun about “bills” to be …
