by NoahOh, the contradictions and dilemmas that Trump supporters involve themselves in. They've spent months saying the coronavirus thing is all a bigly bigly hoax but now some of them want to go to Dear Leader's bigly bigly Campaign-opening Bigot-Fest in Tulsa this weekend. Problem is COVID-19 is exploding in Tulsa. COVID-19 is having its own party in Tulsa! And, unlike republicans, it doesn't discriminate. Everyone's invited! Come one. Die all.What's a republican red hat maniac to do? Luckily, our DWT reporters have tracked down a genuine, 100% Trump supporter and asked it what it was going through:
I wanna go! I wanna go! But what's this piece of paper Dear Leader wants us to sign? Small print. Damn! It's a waiver! It says that if we sign and go to our Bigot-Fest Campaign Kick-Off, we can't blame Dear Leader if we get sick and die? But, but, but, Dear Leader said the virus is a hoax! A bigly bigly democrat hoax! I don't understand! If it's a hoax, how can I get sick? How can I die if it's all a bigly bigly hoax? This is all so confusing. Some say I should wear a mask, but, but what about my freedoms? Damn, next they'll be telling me to lose 200 pounds, read books that don't have pictures, and stop fondling my daughter! No! No! Dear Leader wouldn't do that. He leads by example! Oh well, I'm a Trump supporter! I can rationalize anything! I'll just push both buttons and go. I have faith in Dear Leader! I have faith that I won't get the COVID! Trump won't let me get it. This I know for sure. He signed my bible! I'm safe. See y'all in Tulsa! I'll be the guy in the parkin' lot with the biggest cross. I've got it all soaked in kerosene, ready to go!
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