Fiction

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By: Jay Dyer
Spies Lie and Nazis Fly

A gray three year-old SUV blows a tire, skids into the break down lane, then flips over twice. Its four passengers are smothered in air bags. There is silence.
A driver who witnessed the entire incident from a hundred yards behind pulls over, checks out the situation, shrugs, then gets back on the highway and drives away. He is late for a speech he is scheduled to deliver on “Living Well is the Be All and End All.”

A room that isn’t any larger than 10 feet square. Two metal folding chairs face one another. Acoustical tile ceiling. Windowless. One door. Might have been a storage closet in some previous incarnation but found its true vocation being what it is now: a minor interrogation room for those whose assumed intelligence remains of dubious import.

John was wondering why he was where he was. After all, he’d purchased the weapon weeks ago.
“And when was it, exactly, that you decided you needed an automatic rifle?” Filling out a form, Marsha, an intake worker, concentrates on her computer screen, making no eye contact with the new admission.
“I don’t know. I saw the ad online. You know. Don’t we all have the right to protect ourselves?”
“Yes. Of course. And how were you planning to use this automatic weapon?” John couldn’t see Marsha’s fingers on the keyboard but he could hear faint clicks as she typed away.

Key leaders from around the world are present at the United Nations this week to discuss critical issues; one of the most pressing is Syria. How did we get to this point with half the Syrian population (almost 12 million) displaced and under-populated but huge areas of Syria now controlled by ISIS, Al Qaeda (Nusra) and other fanatical fundamentalist groups?

As many of you already know, Alison Weir (no relation, and she pronounces her name WEER while mine is pronounced WAH-YER) and her organization, If Americans Knew (IAK), have been expelled from the U.S. Campaign to End the Israeli Occupation (USCEIO). I decided to get to the bottom of this important development, so I got in touch with Rube Joshner at the USCEIO, who agreed to be interviewed on condition of anonymity.
Barb Weir: For our readers who may not know, could you please explain why the USCEIO expelled IAK and Alison Weir from your organization?

The journalist interviewed an ancient miner, a man who was used as a tool in the depths of the darkness of mines his entire life. The color of his skin, the sound of his breath, the sadness in his eyes — these human characteristics were the characteristics of the mine itself, as if the inhumanity of the mine had overcome the humanity of the person.

“I’m getting hot,” croaked the frog as he floated in a pot of water from which steam was beginning to rise.
“Me too,” croaked the other frog as she paddled listlessly. “This water used to be warm. Now it’s too hot.”
“Oh well…nothing we can do about it. Maybe it’ll get better.”
“Let’s enjoy what we can,” she croaked. “We’ll listen to the music and watch the pictures on the ceiling that keep changing. They’re pretty.”
“OK…I’m feeling dreamy.”
As the water simmered, the frogs slipped into a stupor; they were unconscious as they began to boil.

Dardanelle, AR — Adding fire to the controversy of Senator Tom Cotton’s letter to the Leaders of the Islamic Republic of Iran, evidence has surfaced that in addition to treason, the senator may also be guilty of self-plagiarism. Spanky Walton, retired principal of Dardanelle High School, read the text of the Senator’s letter yesterday and was beset by an uncomfortable feeling that he had read the letter before.

“The world can only be changed by people who don’t like it,” wrote Bertolt Brecht in explaining why radicals have a negative attitude about the society we live in. We don’t like the way things are. Sometimes our dislike can even become loathing.