Dave Lesar

Halliburton’s Elixir in a Fracked-up World

Coursing through the trackless wastes between Toronto and Winnipeg, our intrepid reporter Rap (short for “rapporteur,” just to add a touch of class), taking a leaf from Stephen Colbert (Col-bear) and his Report (pronouced Re-poor), checked in recently. In fact the paper trail of his expense account items continued, meandering across Michigan, Ohio and Pennsylvania, notably hovering in Camden, N.J. with an item for $139.50 datelined Moe’s Jazz Society. But no matter. He’s now in Atlantic city and has updated us with a full report.

Do We Need Water?

It’s not generally known, but we maintain a hard-hitting investigative reporter (we call him a rapporteur for added class). Rap formerly distinguished himself when he was embedded as a mole in the famous RCMP Musical Ride, where he served undercover as shovel man. With this unique rear-view perspective, Rap produced a tour de force that narrowly missed winning him a Pulitzer Prize, disqualified only because the subject was of absolutely no interest to Americans and also because Rap is a dwarf.