Andy Borowitz

But skeptical sandwich observers ask, was it really his last?Let the record show that this corned-beef job was not Philip Roth's last sandwich, which was reported by The Borowitz Report to have been a turkey with lettuce and tomato on whole wheat (condiments unspecified -- surely not dry?).

Antarctic ice sheet past 'point of no return'Warning: In this clip there's every chance that you may hear from (shudder) a scientist. Just thought you should know, and take the appropriate precautions."Once upon a time it was possible to take climate change seriously while remaining a Republican in good standing. Today, listening to climate scientists gets you excommunicated -- hence Mr.

And the Borowitz Report has shocking newsEarlier this week Dana Milbank devoted a Washington Post column, "Meet the chief prosecutor in the GOP's Benghazi show trial," to Rep.

Oops, wrong Bundy. This isn't famous criminal crackpot "Cliven" Bundy, it's famous shoe salesman Al Bundy -- no relation, as far as I can tell.

This is the freest danged speech you ever will see!"Freedom of speech, in my view, does not mean the freedom to buy the United States government."-- Vermont independent Sen. Bernie Sanders"I am concerned that today's ruling may represent the latest step in an effort by a majority of the Court to dismantle entirely the longstanding structure of campaign finance law erected to limit the undue influence of special interests on American politics."-- Arizona Republican Sen.

Gov. Jan Brewer vetoes Arizona's "Religious Right to Hate" bill.by KenLast night I reported ("From Arizona to K Street: Profiles in courage, 2014 right-wing-loon-style") on the dilemma confronting Arizona Gov.

by KenI had it in mind this evening to do a quick progress report on the unraveling of the idiotic lies of NJ Gov. Kris KrispyKreme, ex-VA Gov. "Handsome Bob" MicDonnell, and our newest celebrity thug-liar, NY Rep. "Mikey Suits' Grimm, but I decided to go instead with my latest Super Bowl City update.

by KenYou've seen Media Matters' Hannah Groch-Begley's report on Fox Noise's "coverage" of the new development in the burgeoning scandals of NJ Gov. Kris KrispyKreme, "Fox Keeps Christie Scandal Buried as New Allegations Emerge," right?First Hannah catches us up on MSNBC's report of the new allegations by Hoboken Mayor

Exploiting tragedy for a buck; plus Miss America's not American?, "Quote of the Year" winner[*TO MEET THE JANITOR OF LUNACY, SEE PART 1]Miss America, Missouri-born Nina Davuluri -- zowie!by NoahTHE MINDS OF CORPORATISTS: EXPLOITING TRAGEDY FOR A BUCKWhat is it about the corporate mind?

-by NoahSometimes satirists have a very hard time satirizing Congress. Case in point: the current Congressional hearings about glitches in the allegedly satanic, marxist, communist, Muslim jihad-influenced Affordable Care Act; aka, dare we say it out loud, Obamacare.How does one satirize a bunch of morons in suits who have but one discernable talent-- satirizing themselves, whether intentionally or not, better than anyone else could ever hope to?