Self-Defence: A Government-Approved Guide

Israel has a right to defend itself
as a sovereign country…
— David Cameron
I have consistently defended Israel’s
right to defend itself, and that includes
doing what it needs to do…
— Barack Obama

And the playground bully
has a right to defend himself
against the smaller kid
huddled in the corner with a bloody nose
so let’s hear it for the prefects
who stand back and let him get on with it,
let him do what he needs to do.
And the housebreaker
has a right to defend himself,
against the victim who happens to be home
just like the mugger
has a right to defend himself
against the victim who happens to be out
so let’s hear it for the ease
with which the knife and the cosh
were put in their hands.
And the police in riot gear
have a right to defend themselves
against the words and banners
of people armed only with words and banners
so let’s hear it for batons
and tear gas and water cannons,
the taxes we pay to kit them out.
And tanks
have a right to defend themselves
against borders and boundaries
and bombers
have a right to defend themselves
against sets of co-ordinates
and battleships
have a right to defend themselves
against the other country’s territorial waters
and snipers
have a right to defend themselves
against whomever loses their nerve and breaks cover
and the bullet
has a right to defend itself
against flesh and cartilage and blood and skin
so let’s hear it for the firepower
that does what it needs to do
and teaches the poor and the weak who’s boss.
And the trade in arms
has a right to defend itself
against morality
against lawfulness
against public opinion
against life against liberty
against anything that jeopardizes a fall in profits
so let’s hear it for governments
let’s hear it for lobbyists
let’s hear it for the media
let’s hear it for the polished soundbites
of a man in a suit putting his mouth
where someone else’s money is.

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