by Noah No, Trump didn't order mushrooms on his pizza. For some reason, he doesn't even like that word anymore. No one can say it in his presence. But, our intrepid DWT reporters did capture the recent moment when he made a stop during his bigly 2020 COVID Super Spreader Tour and ordered a pizza. After he was handed his pizza, here's what the world's most demented president had to say:
"Pizza in a box! I've revolutionized the pizza industry. People are saying. Pizza in a box. Obama never did that. More pizza delivery jobs. No pedo-ring in the basement like Hillary who should be locked up. I had pizza with Sarah Palin once. Nice girl. Very talented. Great governor. My friend Rudy taught her how to dress. I taught her how to use a fork. I don't get credit for that. Maybe someday. Did I tell you I ordered the pizza all by myself? I don't get credit for that either. I phoned ahead. It was a perfect phone call. No one has done more for Italian food business than me. No other president. They love me in Italy. Little Italy. Small Sicily. Have you seen "Gladiator." Great movie. Love that emperor. I should be emperor. Swell guy that emperor. High ratings. Big crowd cheering. I didn't like the ending though. That's liberal Hollywood. They changed the way it shoulda ended. Maximus was a bad guy. Shoulda been locked up, forever. I left my mask in the car.
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