-by NoahIt's must be hard to be Paul Ryan. Not that I'm sympathetic or anything, but, being Paul Ryan? Yeesh! What did he do in his previous life? OK, I know, people literally throw money at him. He never has to worry about buying anything. His wife and kids want for nothing, but, every time he looks in a mirror, it shatters and has to be replaced. I'm sure that every time he walks into a bathroom in his house, the family cringes, waiting for the inevitable loud crash of glass. Come to think of it, it's probably worse for the kids, especially when they go to school and the other kids find out "You're daddy is that Paul Ryan?" That must be a difficult thing for a child to live down. It's like having Rosenberg or Capone as a surname, or having Ted Bundy or Jim Jones for a dad. Let the shunning begin.At least the other kids in the school yard don't have to feel guilty about beating up the Ryan kids. After all, the Ryan kids have all the health care they could possibly want. The kids in the school yard should feel entitled to beat up the Ryan kids. I know I would. After all, their families pay for the Ryan family's medical costs. I believe in getting value for money!Most of all, at least some tiny part of Paul Ryan knows how inept he is and how he may go down in history as the very worst, most inept and incompetent House Speaker in our over 200 years of history. That's a lot of Speakers to be worse than, and, that's a lot of bad people. You can see the insecurity in his beady eyes. It's the source of his psychosis.Ryan obviously takes refuge in his own evil. He obviously prides himself in it. Being evil is where Ryan feels most comfortable. It's where he can be himself. However, the more evil he is, the more and deeper refuge he needs. His backing of the pro-Russian Devin Nunes and pro-Russian Donald Trump should, in a just world, require a lot of refuge; refuge of the witness relocation kind. Ryan is not working on behalf of America. It's bad enough that he is owned by scumbags like the Koch brothers, but now he has lined up with Putin. Screw this guy.Another problem Ryan has is that, try as he might, he cannot out-buffoon Trump when it comes to tweeting. Really, no one can but Ryan tries. He wants to be #1 but the big orange Buffoon Champ looks hard to top. Ryan is such a dumbass that he even tried to top the Champ at one of the Champ's specialties. A few days ago, Ryan patted himself on the back by sending the above tweet about a Lancaster high school secretary who stated that, because of the Trump/Ryan Tax Scam, she was now seeing an extra $1.50 in her weekly paycheck and that it would cover, wait for it, her yearly COSTCO membership. Wow! A whole $1.50! Let them eat cake indeed! That's an astounding $78.00 a year. Talk about your "massive tax cuts"! Man, that's sure life-changing! $78 fucking dollars!Can you imagine how out of touch Ryan has to be to think that $78.00 is really going to make a big difference in anyone's life? $78.00! He must think that covers the cost of feeding a family of four for a month. Maybe a year! Hey, Ryan, how much are your MRIs? Oh, that's right, you have that government healthcare that I mentioned, that government healthcare that you take from our wallets while giving us $1.50 a week. Oh thank you oh great one! We are so grateful! Thank you sooo much for the crumbs. Fuck you, you complete bag of reeking Republican elephant dung!This whole incident reminds me of another Republican total asswipe named Gary Cohen. He's one of Señor Trumpanzee's best people. He was the waste of space from the Trumpanzee White House who said their wonderful Tax Scam would provide everyone with a $1,000 to renovate their kitchens or buy a new car. Yeah, Gary, maybe in the 1953 you Republican jerkoffs would like to take us back to.Anyway, the reaction to Ryan's arrogant tweet was justifiably swift. My favorite retaliatory tweet came from @LOLGOP who tweeted:
Charles, a Koch brother in Wichita, said he was pleasantly surprised that his pay went up $26,923,076... he said that will more than cover the cost of buying several more Paul Ryans.
Ryan quickly deleted his idiocy although you can bet he still doesn't get what he said wrong. All he sees is the $500,000 the Koch brothers gave him for the Tax Scam, oh, er, I mean has a recent "campaign contribution."Sigh, I wish the justice thing was left to me. Here's what I would do: I would hook Ryan up to the rear bumper of my pick-up and truck-drag him out to the middle of the Mojave on the hottest, driest July day of the year. There, I would affix him to the ground in a suitable manner, cover him with fire ants, stuff a salt rag in his mouth, and drive away, letting nature take its course. I'm confident that I could film the whole thing and sell it. That would pay for a lot, and so would he.Please don't think less of me because of my fantasy. I'm not a bad person. I just have a very well-developed sense of justice. If you'd like to administer some justice of your own, I suggest you contribute to the campaign of Randy Bryce, a fine, real American who is campaigning to unseat Speaker Ryan.