You can’t make this stuff up. How magnificently profound the statement: You can’t make this stuff up. But it’s true. Sadly. You simply can’t possibly in your wildest imagination come up with scenarios as demented as what we’re seeing daily. In fact, we’re habituated to it. We simply can’t react anymore. To wit … .
Let me count the ways. Jimbo the Freak Comey’s slipped through the grip of justice (at least initially) yet again. Pedo Rapist Dead Jeff Epstein was whacked in his cell in front of the world while everyone was looking and the Feds look you straight in the eye and tell you it was a suicide. Nothing to see here, move along. Creepy Sleepy Old Uncle Joe Biden’s living in a parallel universe quoting events that never happened all the while screaming “Who ordered the veal cutlet!” at the top of his voice. Fox News has lost its gonads, backbone, integrity, focus, direction and all semblance of credibility by caving in to the demands and restructuring orders of Iger, the Quisling Murdoch Bros. and Bobby’s Disney Mouse team. New York City is sliding into an urban horrorscape while its mayor peregrinates the globe in an imaginary quest for the Presidency that actually represents a front for his not-so-camouflaged attempts to beef up campaign coffers that he’ll be able to syphon for life for his own personal greed later (remember, he learnt it all from Bonnie & Clyde Clinton). Street criminals are dousing NY’s Finest with water (for now) while cops now back off aggressive policing after one of their own was fired for implementing a non-choke hold on a 300-pound obese asthmatic walking heart attack with an arrest record a mile long who refused to move after citizens called NYPD to remove him. Oh, it gets better. Let me break down a few of my favorites.
Oye Comey Va. What does anyone from the [DS] DOJ have to do to even get arrested? Let me get this straight. No one, nobody’s been arrested, charged, nada, niente, nihil, zip, nothing for anything they’ve done and contrived and conspired against this President and the Constitution. Are you serious? But Public Enemy Number One Roger Stone withstands and endures a full frontal, full Monty G-Man blitzkrieg arrest raid at dawn for . . . wait for it . . . process crimes and is financially wiped out. Sorry, you don’t know what this “process crimes” bit means, do you? But don’t feel bad. No one does. Roger Stone allegedly lied or misled federal agents and officials as did Comey, McCabe et al. did with impunity. The same way they misled a FISA court with their urolagnia/undinism dossier phantasmagoria. So what’s the difference, you ask. Dunno. Lurch Mueller indicted Manafort and crew, including an American hero General, and none of the [DS] DOJ slime got so much as a parking ticket. (And don’t get me started when you remember that the Oven Mitt Fashionista HRC herself is still laughing her arse off after she blatantly and deliberately destroyed servers that would have landed me and you under GITMO.) Drain the Swamp isn’t just a pithy expression. It’s a battle cry.
They Scalia’d Epstein. I mean how obvious was that, Sparky? Folks I know who can’t even pronounce conspiracy theory have said without a second’s hesitation that JE was 86’d in front of the world to show you and the rest that [DS] assassins are everywhere. And Billy Barr looked you straight in the eye and swore he’d get to the bottom of . . . wait for it . . . lax MCC security?! What?! No, Billy. We want to know who killed him as in who assassinated this rapist pedo slime. Seriously, put the bagpipes down and look at me and listen carefully. We want to know WHO KILLED HIM, not why Barney Fife and his crew were sawing logs whilst on duty. And we also what to know why Jizzlaine (you heard me) Maxwell hasn’t been charged yet. And while we’re on the subject, here’s a note to the MSM: Stop calling her a madam or an heiress or a British socialite. She’s a vile trull. Besides, madam connotes that these young women were prostitutes. We know how that works, your reshaping of the facts to make it appear that these young ladies voluntarily and knowingly and intelligently entered the ranks of sex-for-hire. We’re not buying it. We just want to know whom you’re protecting.
Larry “If True” O’Donnell steps on his d-ck in front of the world while Rachel Maddow feigns aghast shock and . . . wait for it . . . nothing happens. Imagine a home pregnancy kit that reads PREGNANT (if true). Wait, what? Yes, Mrs. Lipschitz, good news. You’re pregnant (if true). Did you say, “If true”? Yes. So am I pregnant? Yes (if it’s true you’re pregnant). That’s exactly what happened when TV news’s answer to the sitz bath, resident blatteroon Larry O’D announced to Maddow that he had a source that maybe, sorta knows that President Trump might have secured loan guarantees from Russian oligarchs (Russia!) if . . . wait for it . . . if it’s true. Remember, Rachel made us sit through an interminable intro for the big non-payoff of her Trump tax returns exclusive, which turned out to be Geraldo’s Capone Vault debacle redux. So, what did Larry the Louse do after Trump’s lawyer sent him a STFU and apologize demand? You betcha. He slinked and cowered and cowed and slithered back into his nest after issuing the most tepid if not incongruous apologia in the history of apologias. He expiated nothing whilst seeming to reiterate the fascinating “If True” hedge. Now, were this any network but MSDNC, maybe we’d care. But it’s not, so we didn’t and don’t. Meanwhile millennials and Gen-Z’ers are asking what’s the big deal with some morally-constipated Botoxed feeb with a bad haircut lying about yet another fake scandal. And that’s the sad part. The legacy of this mess. We’re so used to it, it just doesn’t matter. Well, we’ll see about that.
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