Señor Trumpanzee's Speech This Morning Didn't Go Over That Well

My pal Roland texted me moments after Trump got up in front of the UN and he appeared relieved (and duped): "He sounds as normal as any American president." Another minute or two passed before his next text: "He's out of his mind, going crazy in front of the UN... attacking everyone." Let's see... what's the population of North Korea that he threatened to "totally destroy?" Ah, yes... 25.37 million, most of whom are the victims of the fascist state there. "Hey Roland, I don't remember any other American president-- or even any Brits-- quoting Elton John before. You?" By the end of the speech Roland was relieved Trump didn't take off his shoe and start banging it it on the lectern but he did end our text conversation as he entered his classroom in Compton by sending me this message: "Whatever else you might think of Trump, you have to admit he's stupid and he's very dangerous."

She packed my bags last night, preflightZero hour, nine a.m.And I'm gonna be highAs a kite by then I miss the earth so muchI miss my wifeIt's lonely out in spaceOn such a timeless flight And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to findI'm not the man they think I am at homeOh, no no noI'm a rocket manRocket manBurnin' out this fuseUp here alone And I think it's gonna be a long, long, time'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to findI'm not the man they think I am at homeOh, no no noI'm a rocket manRocket manBurnin' out this fuseUp here aloneMars ain't the kind of placeTo raise your kidsIn fact, it's cold as hellAnd there's no one there to raise themIf you didAnd all this scienceI don't understandIt's just my jobFive days a weekA rocket manRocket ManAnd I think it's gonna be a long, long, time'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to findI'm not the man they think I am at homeAh, no no no...I'm a rocket manRocket manBurnin' out this fuseUp here aloneAnd I think it's gonna be a long, long, time'Til touchdown brings me 'round again to findI'm not the man they think I am at homeAh, no no no...I'm a rocket manRocket manBurnin' out this fuseUp here alone

Eric Bauman is the chairman of the California Democratic Party. He has a way with words: "Donald Trump’s speech to the United Nations General Assembly should terrify every American. It’s clear that the peace and safety of the world is caught up between two crazy men locked in a contest to see whose rockets are bigger and shoot farther. The neocons cheering on Trump’s reckless bluster should keep in mind the fact that tens of thousands of American soldiers stationed in South Korea and hundreds of thousands of innocent Korean citizens could be killed in the opening moments of the war Donald Trump just threatened-- just as they should remember that a war between two nuclear powers could easily spill out of control and kill hundreds of millions of people. For the safety and security of the world, Congress must act to constrain Trump’s ability to drag us into a long, bloody war over his pathetic, macho posturing."I'm guessing that when Señor Trumpanzee spouted that "If the righteous many don’t confront the wicked few, then evil will triumph," we were all thinking the same thing about who the wicked few are. Unfortunately many were also interpreting this in a different way from what Trumpanzee meant it to mean: "The Iranian government masks a corrupt dictatorship behind the false guise of a democracy. It has turned a wealthy country with a rich history and culture into an economically depleted rogue state whose exports are violence, bloodshed and chaos." And everyone shuddered when the orange baboon said the world faces "great peril."The Guardian's Jerusalem correspondent, Peter Beaumont, told his readers that Netanyahu "could have written the section on Iran so closely does it ally with his own views on the threat posed by Tehran." Netanyahu: "In my more than 30 years at the UN, I have never heard such a brave and clear speech. President Trump told the truth about the world’s lurking dangers, and called for them to be addressed with fortitude, to ensure the future of mankind."I asked a friend of mine who's part of France's delegation to the UN what kind of reaction Trump's rant was getting there. He told me most people expected Trump to brag about his electoral victory over Clinton. He also said he won a bet with a diplomat from Chad about whether Trump would criticize Russia and another bet with a diplomat from India about whether or not Trump would demand Mexico pay for his wall. The Venezuelan foreign minister:I'm sure Paul Ryan will claim to be delighted with Trump's rant. But he progressive opponent in Wisconsin, Randy Bryce was anything but delighted: "I couldn’t believe what I heard come out of Donald Trump’s mouth this morning. In front of the assembled United Nations delegates he threatened to annihilate North Korea while referring to their leader as 'rocket man.' I fully understand that North Korea is an issue, but, to antagonize them in such a high school manner is outrageous. He also went on to slam an agreement that we have entered into with Iran while snubbing them as well. This isn’t leadership-- this is being a bully. This is how to make America hated. If we don’t take back Congress in 2018, we very well may see ourselves being considered as a rogue nation."Doug Applegate, Ted Lieu, Randy BryceLast night Ted Lieu hosted an event for his Manhattan Beach constituents and invited Randy and to be his guest. This morning he and Randy were obviously on the same page about the UN rant. Ted: "President Trump’s speech to the United Nations will be remembered not for rallying the international community around our common challenges, but instead for threatening another nation with annihilation. Let us be clear: the issue is not whether the U.S. is capable of destroying North Korea, but rather whether we are willing to allow South Korea, Japan, and potentially Guam to be destroyed in the process-- along with hundreds of thousands of American lives. Name-calling and brash rhetoric make America neither great nor safe. I am also disappointed that President Trump failed to include a single mention of climate change, which poses an existential threat to America and the world."Matt Cartwright (D-PA) is one of the few progressive Democrats who represents a district Trump won in. He told us he joins "with most Americans in believing that military action is a very last resort, and must be entertained only after all diplomatic efforts have failed. Saber-rattling and name-calling do not count as diplomacy. The United States should be looking for ways to de-escalate this conflict, not turn it into a nuclear crisis. We should be turning our energies toward lining up international support for more crippling sanctions, not impairing our own credibility with Twitter rants. We should be thinking about how to give this dictator a path to a face-saving retraction of his nuclear ambitions, not provoking him with loudmouth schoolyard taunts. I am thinking of the hundreds of thousands of American citizens in that region, and I do not like where this is going."After reading his teleprompter speech Bannon didn't write for him, he casually told reporters, "I think the United Nations has great, great potential."